In Home Care:

For our grandmother, this is the best option for now.  She is able to maintain her privacy, her own space without boundaries & a sense of independence.  She has a nurse that comes in twice a week, a physical therapist that comes in twice a week & I am there 5-6 days a week in one capacity or another.  Sometimes I stop in "just to visit".  We also have a few of her neighbors that "stop in for coffee" and they are able to update us if something isn't quite right. 

Up until today, I hadn't heard about Home Instead.  I like the name because it instantly tells you what they are about...In home care instead of a nursing home. 

I like the idea of providing companionship for the elderly.  Families often just need someone to check in on their loved one.  I know that our grandmother loves a new face & enjoys sharing stories with someone new.  It looks like they provide a wide variety of services, from companionship to travel assistance, bathing, meal prep, etc.  .  Trained staff, experienced staff...looks interesting.  Getting to the part about rates is difficult on the website.  Wishing there was a general page with some example rates so I could see if it is worth looking into.  I like being able to do research online before talking to someone.  It is a large company, or so it appears from the list of administrative people.  This could be good or bad.  Sometimes with large companies, the customer can get lost in the system.  A local company may be more able to provide personal service. 

I hesitate sending someone into grandmother's home that we don't know.  Even if it is a "professional" person, it is scary.  She cannot defend herself.  This is my main concern when considering any home health company.  There are so many horrible stories out there...UGH!

I feel like if grandmother needs daily help & we cannot manage it ourselves with the skeleton crew we have, a full time facility may be in order.  If everything is as it appears on the website, and it is affordable, it is a great option.  Those are my "ifs".  I would probably do major interviewing, call references, want to talk to actual customers & maybe even find someone I know who used them before making a move toward this option. 

Home Instead would probably be a terrific option for elderly people who do not have any family around or who's family is too busy to do the work themselves.  I cringe saying that because I often think that our family priorities need to be shifted if the elderly need assistance.  We shouldn't every be "too busy".  Incorporating this type of in home care with the addition of family member involvement is the ideal set-up. 

  

My advertisement:

"Choose Home Instead for your loved one's at home care.  We can be there when you cannot."

         

For the future, I would  love for our grandmother's life to be pain free, full of energy & easy.  Unfortunately, as she becomes more feeble and less independent,  this hope is diminishing.  She has fallen twice in the last 30 days.  One fall resulted in hospitalization.  She has now declared that she no longer wants to go back to the hospital ever again.  I guess we'll cross that bridge when it gets here.  

 This would be grandmother if life was perfect :)

The next pictures are closer to reality...no running in grandmother's future!

I see this pattern right before my eyes!

The key differences are independence verses being dependent on me for daily help.  Also, the beginning stages of being restricted to her home unless someone else is with her. This is probably the most frustrating aspect for grandmother.  

Being restricted to her home is such a stark change for grandmother.  She is used to driving, getting up & going whenever she wants to & not asking "permission" to do things.  She hates this part of her life.  This is why I try to always be available or always schedule outings with her.  It gives her something to look forward to & helps her to not feel lonely.  

She gets bored easily now too.  TV is very monotonous. Grandmother calls the TV the "idiot box".  LOL!   She is used to being a social butterfly.  Change is HARD!

           

She won't go to a nursing home or assisted living facility, so she lives in a independent living community for 55 & older people.  She checks the mailbox, talks to the managers & has even made friends with the maintenance man.  I'm sure those angels have a large amount of patience! For now, she is fine. Hoping we won't have to move her to the assisted living home.  We would probably move her into our spare bedroom before considering that option,  

Since her last fall, her insurance company made arrangements for a physical therapist and a nurse to come to her home twice a week each.  As much as I thought she'd dislike that arrangement, she loves it.  I think she loves the socializing more than the treatment, but whatever it is...it is great.  The physical therapist walks with her around the property & it gives her a chance to get fresh air & exercise at the same time.  The nurse checks her medication & her vitals.  Again,  the social aspect is of great value right now.  She is enjoying the company.  Because the insurance company is providing this service "free",  I have not researched any additional services at this time.  Between the physical therapist, nurse & myself, she is well taken care of at the moment.  

We ahve noticed grandmother's memory slipping quite a bit.  This makes us uncomfortable with medications, etc, so if this continues to go downhill, we will have to reconsider other options.  

If more care is needed in thr future, my top criteria would be 

safety: is the facility well known for their excellent care? Long history of service in our community. 

24\7 access: If I want to drop in unexpected, is that ok?  THis would tell me that they aren't hiding anything.  

Located close to our home: If there's an emergency, We can get there quickly.  

Cleanliness: I am VERY particular about care facilities.  I can tell immediately upon entering if it is being kept clean.  No excuses...very important!

Those are my top 4 criteria for facilities outside of her own home or our home.  

The difference between my answers & grandmother's answers are obvious.  She says she will NEVER go to an assisted living facility.  This is sort of a sore subject around here.  Knowing that one day, I may not be able to provide all that she needs by myself, it is difficult.  

I've often thought that if she loses her memory & begins to suffer with dementia, it might make her transition easier.  Horrible thought, I know, but if her mind was not as sharp, the move would be much simpler.  Then, she would be in a 24\7 facility where someone would always be watching for her to fall or if she's getting ill.  At least we wouldn't have to jump quite as high when the  phone rings.  With her most recent falling habit, we never know what the phone call is going to reveal.  Scary!

Welcome to my life

My name is Gina FIngleman.  I am 47 years old, a mom of two children  and I've been married to my husband for 26 years.  Our oldest child is 23 & serves in the Air Force.  Our youngest child is 19 & works at a residential community for adults with disabilities.
Now that our children are out of school and one is living outside of our home, my husband and I are able to slow down and enjoy traveling, cooking, gardening & socializing with our friends.  We are liking this new found freedom!
For many years, my team me was spent at various sporting events, school activities & children's birthday parties.  Life was fun, but busy.  Looking back, I wouldn't change anything because our children flourished and we made many memories.  This reminds me of the country song, "Life is a Dance" .  One of the lines of this song says "Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow".   With small children at home, there were many stresses.  Homework, projects, sporting events, school,programs, etc.  Now that those things have passed, there are different stresses.  Life's pace is slower, so we are able to process these things differently.  It's almost like we ran a long race & have finally crossed he finish line.  Only to find out, another race has begun, but we can be the tortoise this time, not the hare.

Chapter 1: Life is New
This chapter will highlight life as we became new parents. Boy, did we think we were busy.  Babies who didn't always sleep through the night, trying to juggle being a new parent with working and everyday activities that had become more of a struggle.




                       
Chapter 2: No one Ever Told Us!




This chapter will highlight our life as parents of two school aged children.  Both are very involved in sports, band, orchestra and they have a healthy social like too.  As new parents, we thought the hard part of parenting was when they didn't sleep through the night.  No one ever told us that the hard part of parenting was when we were committed to several events each week with two children doing different activities & passing in the night when bedtime finally arrived.  Finding time for just the two of us has become very difficult.








 

Chapter 3: Light at the End of the Tunnel
This chapter will highlight our live as parents with older children.  One has joined the Air Force and the other has graduated and is working.  My husband and I have more time to ourselves and we have settled into a slower paced life.  Strangely, we miss the ball games and event some days, but those are father and fewer between.  We've discovered that we can go grab a meal, jut the two of us and enjoy a nice, adult conversation.  We can actually have hobbies of our own now...wow!










Chapter 4: Full Circle
This chapter highlights our adult life which now includes caring for our elderly grandparents.  Just as we thought things were settling don, our elderly grandmother, 87, is needing more and more assistance.  Walking, driving and caring for herself is difficult and sometime dangerous.  I have stepped in as a caretaker and life can really be interesting.  At this stage in life, she doesn't want to admit weaknesses, but it is unfortunately a reality.  Does anyone want to admit that they cannot do things in their own? NO! Going forth with kindness, gentleness and easing into this  new reality is the only way to advance. We have finished raising our children (for the most part) and are now helping "raise" grandma.






If I had to give myself a title, it would be "The do-it-all Diva".  I am on call for our grandmother for just about everything.  I enjoy spending time with her and I know she benefits and enjoys the time we have.  I do not it see it as a burden because I know that my modeling this behavior to my children will be a positive thing.  I know that young people need to see these things so that they develop the character needed to carry on inter same way.  It is challenging and some days it it tiring.  However, I know that when I reach this stage in my life, I will want and need help as well.  My role is to make her life as easy and comfortable while she is with us.  While the days now are tiring and sometimes frustrating, it is worth it.  I am blessed to have the opportunity to serve her.  Ideally, I'd love to have a more healthy grandmother, but since that isn't the case, we make the best of what we have.